February 10, 2004

  • My Way?

    On my drive up to seattle (in a crown victoria), I was listening to
    an excellent (and intense) discussion about women in ministry ... so
    while driving around in Seattle, I decided to listen to some good ol'
    Frankie to lighten things up. This crooner sang more than a song or two
    about "my way" and something about having "the world on a string,
    wrapped around my fingers". My way. There are those occassions in life
    when we get to see what would've happened if I had my way. Thank God for those teachable moments.

    During the first week of january, I made my first tough decision of
    the new year. In november, I submitted photos and other info hoping to
    receive a casting call as an extra for the San Diego Opera production
    of Turandot.
    It's something I've wanted to do. Something about the expression of the
    human soul in classical voice has always captivated me, and I looked
    forward to meeting some of the opera stars. I was quite excited about
    this and had mentioned it to many of my friends. A group in my
    fellowship told me that they would totally go if I was in it ... and
    would even bring flowers (I love you guys). ha ... imagine an extra
    getting more flowers than one of the stars. During Christmas vacation,
    I got a casting call.

    I walked in about 15 minutes late and started filling out papers
    while I watched this older man order around this group of women
    standing on the platform. Any of the women without dance experience
    were immediately eliminated. The guys came up next and fortunately were
    picked out by physical profiles. I got chosen as one of the peasants in
    the story, but had conflicts with two critical rehersals. One was our
    churches prayer retreat and the other was a tour to
    help churches see the physical and spiritual needs in San
    Diego. It was one of those moments that seemed like an eternity. I
    refused to give up my prior commitments and was promptly asked to "come
    again for some other production". I was sad and didn't really want to
    tell people about this. I didn't know if I would have other
    opportunities, but I prayed that God would honor this decision.

    Just last week, I spoke with a friend who went to see Turandot in
    San Diego. The peasants were supposed to wear some grubby clothes, but
    they had a costume change. I heard that they wore a loin cloth .. and
    only a loin cloth. all I could say was "PRAISE GOD!! PRAISE GOD!!" I
    actually shouted this out when I first heard about this. Yes, God did
    honor this decision, and I'm so glad that I didn't get it my way.

    Sharing this story with my buddies yee and mike up in Seattle
    reminded me of what happened to Abraham and Sarah when they wanted
    God's will my way. With a tinge of grief and despair, Abram
    said, "you have given me no children; so a servant in my household will
    be my heir (Gen 15:3)." But God promised Abram that " 'a son coming
    from your own body will be your heir.' He took him outside and said,
    'Look up at the heavens and count the stars -- if indeed you can count
    them.' Then he said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.' " (Gen
    15:4-5) But even with such a clear promise from God, Sarai has her
    husband sleep with her Egyptian maidservant Hagar. They too get the
    opportunity to see the results of doing things my way.

    What is it that we have difficulty trusting God with and are tempted to try doing my way? having children? a relationship? money? finding a roommate? career? grades?

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