Month: February 2008

  • High Standards

    When I first saw this post from CJ, I was really hesitant to show this to my wife. You see, her husband John is one of those guys I've always admired and have wanted to more like. Not only is he gifted, compassionate, winsome and very passionate for the Lord,  but he's also been a source of wisdom as I've wrestled with some of the new challenges of married life. Just months before this post, we stayed with them for several days, and my wife got to see first hand what this family was like. But the reason why I was so hesitant to show this to my wife was because I was afraid that she would hold me to the same standard and say "hey, John is willing to ...., why aren't you ... ". Of course my wife is very gracious and would never use this type of comparison tactic on me, but I think every guy has this secret fear of not being able to measure up.

    I'll share a little snippet so that you get a glimpse of what this woman CJ thinks of her husband John.

    "The subsequent 5 years have been a roller coaster of a ride, going from
    two DINKs with mere rent to pay, to seminary, home ownership, jobs
    we’ve enjoyed, jobs we’ve lost sleep over, family loss, ministry, and
    (any day now) a baby. Through it all, I have repeatedly seen John love
    me without condition….when he doesn’t complain about eating dinner at
    11PM. When he picks me up from work at midnight. When he
    doesn’t criticize me for neglecting to keep a clean house. When he puts
    up with my selfish, moody and overly critical self. When he does all
    the yardwork while I cheer him on from the window. When he pushes his
    study time ’til after midnight to spend time with me. When he waits
    with open arms when I am on the brink of tears. When he is the first to
    say ”sorry,” even when the fault is mine. John is really that kind of
    guy. He is the guy who pulls over on the freeway to help people,
    notices the lonely and outcast, gives food to the homeless, buys
    lemonade from the neighborhood kids, seeks wisdom from the elderly,
    wakes up in the quiet of the morning to be still and pray, calls his
    dad every day to make sure he’s okay, encourages high schoolers to see
    the world and experience life, dreams big and strives for excellence,
    and pours 120% into everything he does. It was this incredible balance
    of wisdom and humility, confidence and tenderness, strength and passion
    that first drew me to him–and continues to amaze me every day. Yeah.
    I’m one lucky girl."

    I eventually decided to show her this post. I think I wanted her to have this type of picture in her mind so that she could help me to become that type of man. I think I also wanted to be viewed in light of such high standards so that I don't grow lazy and apathetic in my life and in my marriage.