Today a friend discovered La Jolla Cove for the very first time ...

I've climbed to the peak of mountains, have crossed
several rivers and have wandered through deserts and forests, but
the ocean is still one of my favorite places. This may seem a little
unproductive, but I could literally stare at the ocean for hours and
hours. Something about it's vastness seems to humble me and calm me at
the same time. On a day where there are few others around, I can look
out to the left and to the right and see nothing but an expanse of
blue. Something about the rhythmic sounds engage my mind in
reflection. Something about the powerful waves crashing on the shore
help me to see the smallness of my concerns and force me to gain
perspective on life. Something about my friend getting lost as we
stared out at the waves reminded me of my love for the ocean.

As a child ...
the crashing waves were a formidable
force to be conquered. I still remember my brother and I spending hours
building sand castles by the water. Our goal was to build these
structures that blocked off the crashing waves and rediverted the
incoming flow of water.

In college ...
I spent more time in study than in
reflection. I seldom went to the ocean. My best memories of the beach
were those late night bonfires and times of intimate sharing as the
waves created a semi-periodic noise that added a fullness to
our words.  

In grad school  ...
I
lived in Minnesota and met a large number of people who have never seen
the ocean before. I remember sitting on a small beach on the
Northwestern campus and looking out at Lake Michigan. It's one of the
few lakes in the US, where you can look out and not see an end. I
remember thinking about this SCC song ... 
     I have come to this ocean
     and the waves of fear are starting to grow
     the doubts and questions are rising with the tide
     So I'm clinging to the one sure thing I know
I was learning some tough lessons about holding loosely the things that are fleeting and holding on to Jesus.

In Portland ...
I
climbed many of those mountain tops and hiked many of those forests. I
was blessed to live about 15-20 mins from the columbia river gorge (the
highest density of natural waterfalls in north america). I could see
the majestic mt. hood and mt st. helens from my office window. But my
favorite place was still the ocean  ... even though the nearest
beach was about 2 hrs away. It's difficult for a SoCal person to
understand, but the waters were cold, these public beaches were clean
and were often quite isolated (no sun tanners and volleyball
players).  I've camped out by the ocean and have often enjoyed
many peaceful walks. I think it was here that I started to love coming
to the ocean.

In San Diego ...
the
weather is perfect year round and we are surrounded by beaches; but I
missed the seasons, and I missed the solitary beaches of OR. This
longing sometimes made it difficult to enjoy where I lived (or as
another friend would say, "embrace SD"). Other than our tiny MSG
bonfire, the beach was where I typically went to play ... volleyball,
frisbee, football, rollerblading. Seeing someone discover the cove for
the first time today (despite the hoards of people everywhere) reminded
me of sunsets at the glider port, the evening walks along the cove, sat
morning runs around PB and mission beach, and early morning devotions
at the less popular beaches north of SD.

I learned recently
that Gethsemane was not just THE place where Jesus prayed so earnestly
that "his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground" (prior
to his arrest and cruxifiction), but it was a place where Jesus had
gone often. John 18:2 says, "Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the
place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples." Where are the places where you've gone away to meet with God? Our pastor shared with us recently that spiritual leaders must pray and seek
the Lord. "Spiritual leaders are not decision-makers, they are
discerners of God's will." I frequently remind myself that if
praying and seeking the Lord isn't a regular part of my life, I have no
business leading anyone. Let us stand in awe of our wonderfully
creative God.

my baby sister knits ... what is this world coming to?

Both of us tend to be busy, but it's great how we've grown closer these past few years. My parents and my sister, julie, flew in to SD on new year's eve -- just in time to join us for a hotpot (da-been-lowe) new year's celebration at our home. I think that this is the first New Year's I've celebrated with my parents in at least 4-6 yrs. I stayed out late the night before and barely woke up on time to pick them up from an afternoon flight. A few things I learned this weekend ...

Things I learned at Universal Studios:
-Hollywood is very good at generating illusions
-Don't go to the Back to the Future ride immediately after a large lunch
-Getting wet on the Jurastic Park ride after it gets dark and cold is not a good idea
-Focus on the essentials. It's OK to skip a few things here and there
-Kids are impressionable. Some left convinced that "Fluffy" shreds people.

Architectural lessons from the Getty:
-Richard Meier had about a billion dollars to play with
-some refer to it as the Acropolis of LA
-It's all about "Axes and Grids"
-Modern and Ancient architectural elements
-"framed" views
-30"x30" Travertine and Aluminum siding ... completely decorative
-there's a loosely associated society of "white" people

Universal Studios was cool, but the Getty Center was great (even though rain and fog obscured the gorgeous view we were told about). If you do go, I would totally recommend taking one of their architecture and garden tours. My sister is studying architecture at UC Berekeley, I'm fascinated by design, and our tour guide was ecstatic about the Getty Center (I've never met someone so passionate about the design of a building before). Praise God for passionate people and for things that are well designed!! I've realized recently what a deep appreciation I have for excellent designs.

Some New Year's Resolutions:
-continue to flesh out the lessons I've been learning about faith and grace
-go thru the bible this year w/ Rich (we're using an excellent guide by Navigators)
-start going to sunday school again and encourage others to come along every wk
-pursue things that I can do and endorse passionately ... all for God's glory!!

yes, my sister knits. She made a lovely scarf and is working on some other projects. She's among the few girls I know under 50 who can knit and prepare gourmet meals (I think she's a better cook than me now). Praise God for my baby sister who has grown to love the Lord dearly these past few years at Cal and has become a dear friend to me!! She's Amazing!! I still can't believe she knits during her free time now ...

Hungry?

After tonight's Christmas Eve service, my stomach grumbled. Usually
this would lead me to daydream about food or give a mild
complaint about being hungry, but tonight I thanked God. I felt blessed
to be hungry. When was the last time your heart was filled with
gratitude when you were hungry?

My roommate tells me that I was quite livid yesterday. I woke up
with a bad case of diarrhea that just persisted throughout the day. I
spent most of tuesday in bed but couldn't sleep. Between
headaches, fluctuations between feeling extremely hot and extremely
cold, and major stomach pains ... all I could do was lie down and wait
for this tortuous day to pass. Even the Gatorade I drank just came out
in the form of a painful vomit. Now I understand why some people
suffering from severe food poisoning wish death at times. I haven't
eaten in the past 2 days, and tonight was the first time I even sensed
any hint of hunger.

Have you considered that physical hunger and spiritual hunger are
both gifts from God? For someone who loves to eat, I've thought
about this many times before ... in the past two days, these thoughts
were given flesh.  Just as physical hunger is a sign of physical
health, spiritual hunger is a sign of spiritual health. Sickness dulls
physical hunger just as sin dulls spiritual hunger. It is a gift of God to be hungry for God!!
For those who are sick of "looking for food in all the wrong places",
consider that it is God who sparks this hunger in us and is the only
one who deeply satisfies. God not only began a good work in us but with
bring it to completion (phil 1:6). He is the author and perfector of
our faith (heb 12:2).

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
  and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
  and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
  and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
                                              
~Isaiah 55:1-2

For those who know Christ as their Lord and Saviour, let us always
be hungry for God. For those who don't ...  I believe that there
is a growing spiritual hunger in America but many still sing along with
Justine Bateman's "ain't got no, satisfaction". As a people, we've been
looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places, sometimes at a very
high cost. Look to the God who will satisfy. Merry Christmas!!

Harmonies make me happy ....

A friend made that comment as I told them about my sheer
delight when I joined gospel choir a while back. Since pam, yee
and Joanne have all moved away, I haven't had the chance to help with
worship or with musical ensembles.  Next
to my love for God, music must certainly be my second greatest life
passion -- especially music that speaks deeply from the heart ...
poetic words that somehow resonate with your heartstrings and touch
realms that prose would never reach. I wrote this a while back when I
was getting frustrated with serving God, wondering if my labor was
sometimes in vain.

To which of these depths do I now go?
the writer must choose to live in poetry or prose.

To dwell in depths of loneliness and pain,
     made deeper and deeper by the mind's refrains?
To reach heights of hope and joy,
     from great darkness arise and true living employ?
To plain and ordinary living, day-by-day
     or dreams of places far-far away
     Wonder found in the determined gaze
     Joyfully trusting his perfect ways.

To which of these depths do I now go?
Do I choose now to live in poetry or prose?

I was thinking about harmonies today as we were practicing
some Christmas carols to sing these next few weeks before Christmas.
Have you ever been to Hotel del Coronado during the Christmas season
and noticed these carollers dressed in traditional victorian garb
singing these beautiful four part harmonies of familiar songs? That'd
be us these next two Sundays. Look for us before service around the
Christmas tree at CBC.

Biblical Masculinity

I watched Once Upon a time in China (I) for the first time a while back after hearing numerous stories about this movie. Swelling within me was this great courage, a thirst for valor, and an eye for something greater than myself. This movie is like the Jet Li rendition of Braveheart. Wong Fei-Hung is the epic hero who stands up and fights for his country as foreigners come in and rape the country. He is the man who inspires courage in the hearts of his countrymen. What is it that I will fight for with the same courage? What will I fight with? Wong Fei-Hung fought using his sharp mind and his legendary kung fu. William Wallace, the warrior-poet, fought skillfully with the sword. Benjamin Martin (The Patriot) fought skillfully with his guns. Each of these men rose to courage in their country's time of greatest need  …  If the movies we like are telltale of the things our heart longs for, why is it that Braveheart is a favorite for so many of my guy friends? How is it that we can live so sedately and grow so complacent in America? Why have we ceased to dare great things and fight noble causes? Why is it so confusing to even know what to fight for?

Christianity, as it currently exists, has done some terrible things to men. When all is said and done, I think most men in the church believe that God put them on the earth to be a good boy. The problem with men, we are told, is that they don’t know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But, if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming  …. a nice guy. That’s what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys.   ~John Eldredge

I find myself caught in this confusion. TV shows and movies subtly (and sometimes blatantly) minimize the differences. My co-workers sing this same refrain, and even the church echoes an alluring harmony. What I do know is this, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27). Eldredge writes, “ there is a a masculine heart and a feminine heart, which in their own ways reflect or portray to the world God’s heart.”

Is Jesus more like Mother Teresa or William Wallace? “One Sabbath day as Jesus was teaching in a synagogue, he saw a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit. She had been bent double for 18 yrs and was unable to stand up straight. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Woman, you are healed of your sickness!” Then he touched her, and instantly she could stand straight.” But when the leader in charge of the synagogue got upset at Jesus for healing on the Sabbath, he says “You hypocrite! You work on the Sabbath day! Don’t you untie your ox or your donkey from their stalls on the Sabbath and lead them out for water? Wasn’t it necessary for me, even on the Sabbath day, to free this dear woman from the bondage in which Satan has held her for 18 yrs?”(Luke 13: 10-17 NLT)

This same Jesus who spoke a tender word, who healed and touched an outcast, did not tippie-toe around church leaders on this heated issue.

Biblical Femininity

A 19 year old guy in my Portland small group spoke to me
one night and asked "Dave .... .... I know you understand women .... (
long pause) .... Can you explain them to me?" You have to understand
that he gazed intently into my eyes, fully expectant that I would
deliver to him a series of eloquent answers that clarified this great
mystery and freed him from this bondage of confusion. I almost wanted
to burst into laughter, but the seriousness of his question forced me
to refrain. The truth is that women are still quite a mystery to
me. A friend who has been married for about half a century
expressed similar sentiments. "Often I wake up and feel like I totally
don't understand my wife. I wonder who is this woman sleeping beside
me." Despite this confusion, a husband should commit to
learning about his wife ... continually learning to understand her
better. "It is worth it!!"  Ladies, remember that this friend
committed himself to understanding one woman and that was confusing
enough.

... the deep cry of a little girl's heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me?

This is from John Eldredge's, Wild at Heart. Is this indeed the question that every little girl asks?

...
My friend Jan says that a woman who is living out her true design will
be "valiant, vulnerable, and scandalous." That's a far cry from the
"church ladies" we hold up as models of Christian femininity, those
busy and tired and rigid women who have reduced their hearts to a few
mild desires and pretend everything is going just great. Compare their
femininity with that of the women named in the genealogy of Jesus. In a
list that is nearly all men, Matthew mentions four women: Tamar, Rahab,
Ruth, and "Uriah's wife" (1:3, 5-6).

Tamar -- she disguised herself as a prostitute to trick her father-in-law to have sex with her (see Genesis 38).
Rahab -- She is in the "hall of faith" in Hebrews 11 for commiting
treason. She hid the spies who were coming in to scope out Jericho
before battle. (see Joshua 2: 8-11; 6:22-25).
And Eldredge spends over 2 pages specifically on Ruth. These words
caught my eye because I've never heard anyone use the words "valiant, vulnerable, and scandalous" to describe a Godly woman before. Where in Proverbs 31 are those words used? 

a little fall of rain   ...   will make the flowers grow.

Praise God for the gentle rains in San Diego this past thursday. On
tues, the smoke was so dense that all of SD was in Sepia mode. It was
like looking at everything through polarized filters. The rain was not
only helpful to the firefighters but was extremely refreshing. Never
have my eyes been so delighted to view just a bit of blue in the
sky.

Driving along hwy 163 and 52, I saw for myself the aftermath of the
fire and realized how close it really was to me and to all my favorite
restaurants in convoy. It was one of those moments when the
gravity of the situation just suddenly hits you deeply in the
stomach. The hillsides were charred, some of the freeway exits
were badly damaged and in several spots the fire went right up to the
doorsteps of the building. The fire is far from being contained but is no longer a serious threat to populated areas.

---------------------------

I also bought my first new car yesterday. For me, buying this car
was a tiny step of faith - faith in God's provision and faith that God
would use this act of obedience for His glory. btw, the 2004 Toyota Prius
is a really great car. I love it! Some have called it the first car of
this new century. The only reason I'd get a new car now is if there's
some major innovation in car technology....the next car I'm buying will
have the flying option available. One of my roommates asked me,
"if you were a millionaire, which car would you buy?" I confidently
replied, "If I were a millionaire, I would still buy the 2004 Prius."
Seriously!

I was just curious, if you were a millionaire, which car would you buy?

the fires continue to rage through the San Diego (and San Bernadino) area ...

I woke up this morning coughing a bit and finding it slightly
difficult to breathe because I left my window slightly ajar the night
before. I looked out and noticed how the blackened smoke-filled sky
provided an unusual black background to the crimson sun. This is a
random thought, but little did I expect to find greater use for a
surgical mask in San Diego than Pam would in China. In China,
these were a precautionary measure for SARS; here in San Diego, these
are used to help us from breathing in the ash particles that saturate
the air.

The 50 mph Santa Anna winds and the highly combustible Eucalyptus
leaves fueled this fire and helped it to spread rapidly. While I was
hearing about firefighters who were doing their best with tiny hoses
trying to control the fire, I was thinking that a little Seattle rain
would probably do much more. Nearly every school and most major
businesses in San Diego were closed. Despite the tremendous damage, God
has used this incident to bring communities together and again focus
our eyes on the essentials. Christians have gathered to pray.

"If your house was on fire, what would you grab with you before
leaving?" This hypothetical question I've asked to others many times
before was now a real question that I had to ask myself (and one of my
roommates).